the ill equipped
gentleman
Proudly unqualified.

The last guy who should be handing out advice — writing it all down anyway.

What this is

A guy in over his head on the big stuff nobody's good at — IVF, a body that started talking back, quitting drinking, getting older — figuring it out, failing spectacularly, and still showing up the next day. Told honest, told funny. If you came for advice, you came to the exact wrong guy.

Jamie Burton, the Ill Equipped Gentleman
Meet the Gentleman

I'm Jamie. I'm an engineer — I solve problems for a living. Show me a ditch, a drain, or a pipe and I'll engineer the hell out of it. Give me a feeling and I've got no blueprint — I just stand there.

Which has been a problem, because the last few years handed me a lot of feelings. I've been through IVF, survived a health scare that rearranged every priority I had, quit drinking, and started noticing my own body file a fresh complaint most mornings. All at once. None of it came with instructions, and I wasn't qualified for a single piece of it.

I've got a blended family — older kids I did the dad thing with once (turns out that merit badge expires), and a young one who took years and a small fortune to get here. And I've got Lauren, my wife, who processes life by moving forward while I process it by stopping. She's the only reason any of this is survivable.

I'm not here because I figured it out. I'm here because I didn't — and I'm still standing. Dented, but standing. I'm the last guy who should be handing out advice.

So naturally, I'm writing it all down.

Proudly unqualified.

The Books
Book One

I Was Told There Would Be Sex

An IVF Love Story.

The IVF story from the chair nobody photographs — the guy's. Needles hidden from the kids, a small fortune, a receipt I'll never recover from, and the kid who finally showed up. Honest, funny, and told by a man with no medical business explaining any of it.

Coming soon
The Series

The Love Story Series

The big terrifying stuff, one book at a time.

Book one is IVF. After that: the health scare, getting sober, getting older — same guy, different crisis, every one of them survived and written down. More titles on the way.

More coming
The Podcast
A Podcast

The Ill Equipped Gentleman

~30 minutes of doing the big stuff wrong, out loud.

One guy, in over his head, telling the truth — with jokes — about IVF, getting older, quitting drinking, marriage, and whatever's next. Plus my wife Lauren, who was there for all of it and remembers half of it differently. Short enough to finish, honest enough to stick.

In the works
Questions you're probably asking

Are you actually qualified for any of this?

No. That's the whole brand. I'm an engineer — I have no business explaining fertility, medicine, or feelings. I'm doing it anyway.

Is this going to make me cry?

Maybe. It'll also make you laugh, sometimes on the same page. That's the deal I'm offering.

Is your wife okay with all this?

Lauren's the co-narrator, not the punchline. She remembers half of it differently, and she's usually right.

Is it just about IVF?

No. IVF is book one. There's a health scare, quitting drinking, getting older — all the stuff nobody preps you for. Same guy, different crisis.

When does the book come out?

Soon. Get on the list and you'll be the first to know — I promise not to bug you otherwise.

The Newsletter

I'll email you. Rarely.

I'm not going to clog your inbox — I promise. You'll only hear from me periodically: new releases and the occasional real update. That's it. No funnels, no daily nonsense. I can barely work the software anyway.

Double opt-in is on — new subscribers get a quick confirmation email from you before they're added.
Follow along
Say hi

Got a story, a shared disaster, or just want to tell me I'm doing it wrong? jamie@illequippedgent.com. I read everything, and I reply to most of it — eventually.